Low-Maintenance Friends are just Disguised Acquaintances

Effort, Connection and the Rise of Individualism

Hey love,

Here’s a thought I’ve been wrestling with: most of what we call “low-maintenance friendships” are actually just glorified acquaintances. And if they’re not yet, give it time—many of them will eventually drift into acquaintance territory. It’s safe to say that, for most of us, we probably have more acquaintances than real friends.

Now, don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing inherently wrong with acquaintances. They serve a purpose in our lives. But lately, I’ve noticed this trend of glamorizing low-maintenance friendships, as if effort, care, and presence are overrated. It feels like a reflection of our broader cultural shift: we’ve become increasingly individualistic, self-centered, and hyper-focused on protecting our peace at all costs.

Take the popular “don’t disturb my peace” mantra. On the surface, it’s about boundaries—and boundaries are great. But dig deeper, and it sometimes feels like an excuse to opt out of showing up for people. We’re normalizing behaviors like canceling plans last minute and calling it “self-love” or ghosting texts for a week because “that’s just how I am.”

Is this really self-care? Or are we just masking selfishness under a trendy label?

The thing is, true friendships require effort. They’re built on a foundation of mutual respect, care, and yes—sometimes sacrifice. When we start glamorizing a “low-effort” approach to relationships, we risk eroding the sense of duty we have to one another. We’re essentially saying, “You can be in my life, but only if it’s convenient for me.”

Main character syndrome doesn’t help either. Everyone wants to feel like the star of their own story, which isn’t inherently bad. But when we elevate our personal comfort above meaningful connections, we lose something important. The epidemic of “me first” thinking has turned relationships into transactional exchanges—what can you do for me, and how little can I give in return?

Now, I’m not saying we should drain ourselves trying to be everything for everyone. Healthy boundaries matter. But we’ve taken this “live on your own terms” narrative to the extreme, romanticizing flakiness and labeling it self-preservation. That’s not growth—it’s avoidance.

Friendships thrive on consistency, communication, and mutual care. Sure, you don’t need to talk every single day to be close, but a friendship that’s built entirely on silence and sporadic effort? That’s not a friendship; it’s a loose connection.

When was the last time you checked on someone without waiting for them to reach out first? Or followed through on plans, even if you didn’t feel like it in the moment? These are the little things that keep friendships alive. But in a culture obsessed with convenience, they’re becoming rarer by the day.

Maybe it’s time we stop glamorizing the “low-maintenance” label and start celebrating friendships that require effort. The ones that challenge us to show up, listen, and put someone else’s needs before our own once in a while. Those are the relationships that truly matter—the ones that last.

Because at the end of the day, what’s the point of having a million “low-maintenance friends” if none of them are there when you need them? Friendship isn’t supposed to be easy all the time. It’s supposed to mean something.

So, let’s rethink how we approach our relationships. Let’s stop settling for surface-level connections and start investing in the people who really matter. It might take more effort, but trust me—it’s worth it.

Life Lately

Lately, I’ve been on a binge of great shows! Squid Game 2 had me hooked from start to finish—it’s even more interesting and layered than the first season. The twists kept me on edge the entire time. Then there’s Six Triple Eight, which left me in tears. There’s this scene where Lena finds Abram’s tomb, and honestly, it broke me. The storytelling was so powerful and moving—I’m still thinking about it.

On a lighter note, I recently discovered that Timini Egbuson has crossed eyes, and let me just say, it’s the cutest thing ever! Little quirks like that are such a reminder of how unique and charming people can be.

Life has been a mix of work and little joys, like finding time to write, watch, and reflect. What have you been up to lately? Hit reply and share—I’d love to hear about it!

Talk soon,

Mayy